I saw this video after I was saved, but it is so profound and convicting. I can completely relate to what David Platt is saying.
A few months ago, I was Baptized by Hunter! This was a very special experience, but I know it seems strange to alot of people. I can only imagine. Her husband is a preacher?! Her Dad is a preacher?! These were things I have worried about for the past few months that prevented me from admitting that I was lost and in need of salvation.
I have spent my entire life raised in church. I prayed the sinners prayer when I was 6 years old and was baptized shortly after. When I was 12, I became obsessed with the thought of hell and thought..."ill just pray the PRAYER again to make SURE I'm saved."
The years following, I went to church every sunday and went on multiple mission trips throughout high-school and College. I even went on a 4 month mission trip to England. I never thought that any of this was in vain, or that I was doing them with bad intentions. Church and mission trips were just something I did. A normal part of life to me.
However, anytime I had to write out a testimony to share, I had a difficult time. I could never really articulate how my life had "changed" after I met Christ. I would always just think, "Well, I was young, I have always been a good person." I would listen to sermons about how you could be saved and just "Back-slidden." For YEARS I would think, "that's me, Im saved..Just back-slidden."
As the years went on, I began to become very skeptical of the bible. I even went through a time where I truly did not know if I believed anything would even happen after you died. I wondered if everything I had been taught was NON-SENSE!! It was too complicated. I could not understand what my friends, Husband, and family were talking about when they would talk about the Lord. I didn't understand the relationship they had. I always just assumed that everyone I knew was "more spiritual" than I was.
When Hunter and I were dating, I remember him telling me: "I realized today, I am not saved and I am not going to live my life the way I have been living any more." I honestly didn't think much of it, until we were married. He is a completely different person than the man I started dating years ago. I thought many times.."I wonder why he is like this?" "what is up with him??"
When he took his first job as a youth pastor, things started to change. I realized that I had a VERY negative opinion of the Lord and anything that had to do with ministry. It was misery for me. I could not understand why Hunter would want to make every decision based on the bible. Why he wanted to talk about the Lord so much. Why he was SO willing to do anything if he thought that is what God had planned for our lives. I thought, WHY CANT WE JUST DO WHAT WE WANT??" Following the Lord was always too hard for me. I couldn't understand how people could follow ALL those RULES!! It would never be good enough. It was just too hard.
During this time, My friend Brittany invited us to a conference where Paul Washer was speaking. I went simply because I wanted to hang out with them. During his sermon he said..."There are going to be alot of people in hell that believed because they prayed a prayer, they would be saved..but they NEVER really KNEW the LORD. DO YOU KNOW HIM??" I thought that was a harsh statement. Even though I KNEW that was me.
A few months later, we started attending Eastpoint Church. I will never forget what John Allen said. The bible says you are either FOR God or AGAINST God, and I knew I was not for him. He also talked about people who were hung up on a prayer to get them into heaven and it affected their lives NONE. He said, "Every day you do not come to the Lord, you are essentially rejecting God. Once again, I knew this was me.
The tuesday after, I was off work. I remember feeling like the Lord was speaking to me and that I needed to figure it out, so I opened my Bible for the first time in months...Possibly years. I remember reading about how faith produced works. I probably only read for about 10 minutes before a lightbulb went off in my head...
"YOU ARE LOST."
I immediately began to cry an cried for at least two hours. HOW could I have been so blind for 25 years? I have heard all these thing my whole life and never truly understood them. I was so hung up on, "Im a good person, and I have already prayed the prayer."
It was the first time in my life that I TRULY understood what salvation was. That I could NEVER be good enough. THAT I WAS A SINNER, and NOT a "good" person. Our Righteousness is as filthy rags to the Lord! God doesnt care about my good-girl reputation or my pastor Dad/Husband. This was the first time I realized I have lived my ENTIRE LIFE for myself and never repented of the way I was living. I had never truly walked with the Lord, or understood what Christ did for me. It took 25 years of sitting in Church for me to realize I DID NOT KNOW THE LORD. I just knew Religion. I had never truly FOLLOWED him. I knew I did not have what Hunter had. I am so thankful the Lord used him to show me what it meant to be a FOLLOWER OF CHRIST, and not just someone who prayed a prayer.
When Hunter came home that day, I was STILL crying. I told Hunter what the Lord revealed to me and I will never forget what he said..
"I have been praying since 8 months into our marriage that God would reveal it to you if you were lost."
I AM SO THANKFUL FOR HOW THE LORD USED MY HUSBAND IN MY LIFE. I always thought that I was the one who got him involved in church and now he is a "preacher." How wrong I was! The Lord used HIM to show me that I was lost.
I am so grateful and my life will NEVER be the same.
"DO YOU KNOW HIM?"
